


Juiced

by FreyaS



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Jokes, Body Modification, Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Fruit, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Literal fruit fucking, M/M, Non-Consensual Body Modification, avengers as fruit, bad fruit based jokes, i blame pep for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 09:14:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17639966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyaS/pseuds/FreyaS
Summary: This is based onpeppypear'sFruitvengers AU.Tony and Steve's domestic bliss is interrupted by the nefarious plans of Killian the Mandarin orange. In the aftermath, they find themselves...changedOr: how to justify fruit literally fucking each other.





	Juiced

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peppypear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppypear/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Just Peachy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15182945) by [peppypear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppypear/pseuds/peppypear). 



> I have a lot of people to thank for this. First [peppypear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppypear/pseuds/peppypear) for letting me play in her sandbox and for inspiring me into this insanity.
> 
> [athletiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/pseuds/athletiger) for her awesome beta help. And [Rise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/riseupwiseupeyesup/pseuds/riseupwiseupeyesup) and [Dophne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dophne/pseuds/Dophne) for cheer reading!
> 
> I also thank/curse the MCU Stony discord for their help and encouragement.

Tony didn’t trust the deranged jalapeño that Peter had started hanging around. Not only was the demented pepper crass, he also was a bad seed, always enticing Peter into increasingly dangerous situations.

“Aw, Tony, don’t tie your stem into a knot, I think they’re real sweet,” Steve told Tony the next time they heard about the new duo’s latest escapade.

“I thought you didn’t like crass fruit,” Tony grumped, adjusting the mesh he still wore around his body. “Deadpool has the dirtiest mouth I’ve ever heard, even the potatoes steer clear of him.”

Steve brushed his leaf against Tony’s generous curves, and Tony scowled at him, aware that Steve was trying to distract him from his mounting ire.

“Oh come on sweetcheeks, you can’t blame Peter for falling for a suave fruit. Isn’t that how I fell for you?”

Tony grumbled, but his core warmed at the thought that Steve found him irresistible. “I still don’t like it. Did you hear? They tried to fight the Mandarin and everyone knows that crazy orange has been after me since I arrived to this store. I don’t need that strawberry turning into jam on my account.”

“He’s fresh off the vine, let him live a little,” Steve said, gazing fondly at the brooding peach. Tony huffed but let the issue drop, focusing on the peaceful flowers around them as inspiration for a more zen attitude. They loved their new home and it was very close to the fruit section.Their friends and family rolled by for visits almost everyday.

As if on cue, a small red shape came hurtling down the aisle, completely disregarding the busy traffic of wheels and feet that stood in its way.

“Tony, Steve! Have you seen Peter?” The out of breath strawberry asked the mixed fruit couple. Tony realized the red fruit in front of him was Peter’s guardian, a feisty strawberry that Peter called Aunt May. She was usually a very attractive berry but right now, her stem was dark, almost wilting, and her seeds seemed bleached white in terror.

“No, he and his… companion haven’t been around to visit us since yesterday,” Tony was quick to reply, hopping down so he was level with May. “What happened?”

“I don’t know but I haven’t seen Wade or him since yesterday and Ned said they came to visit you both. I was hoping he stayed with you two,” May explained, her whole body trembling. “I know he’s no longer a flower and is a fruit in his own right, but he always stops by to check on me.”

“Don’t worry ma’am, we’ll get to the bottom of this. We’ll scour every aisle and won’t let one cart leave unchecked,” Steve said, looking valiant as he sat above them, the morning sunlight glinting off his pristine red skin.

May’s wilted stem began to perk up. “Oh, thank you both, you’re both honest fruit, I knew I could rely on you.”

-

“We can’t search this whole store by ourselves, Steve, no matter how robust you are. And I’ve been leaking juice for ages, I’m barely of any use,” Tony said bitterly. The cross-species couple sat on the edge of a pot of orchids, high up on the cart of flowers they called home.

“Don’t talk like that, you’re still the prettiest peach around!” Steve protested, his stem stiffening in indignation.

“Easy for you to say, you haven’t even started turning brown yet, and I’ve heard the rumour, you and your plum friend, Barnes, are from a new testing facility, who knows how long you’ll last,” Tony said. He gingerly moved around in the mesh, wincing as his damaged side protested. He wasn’t a vain fruit but he knew he’d been the envy of all the other peaches at his prime. Freshly plucked from the tree, he’d been the apple of everyone’s eyes, juicy and perfectly ripe. Now, he glanced down at his past ‘best by’ body and felt sick to his pit; he wasn’t going to live long enough to share Steve’s enhanced lifetime.

“That’s just a rumour babe, and I don’t care what anyone says, you’re still the juiciest peach I’ve ever seen.” Steve admonished, his red skin darkening as he grew agitated. “Let’s focus on finding out where Peter and Deadpool are.”

Tony shook himself, his fuzz bristling as he turned his attention to the problem at hand. “Well, we’re going to need help if we plan on checking every aisle and cart. It’s the worst day for it too, all the past due produce is on sale.” They both shuddered at the thought. All their friends and family had thus far avoided the fate of being picked, but they all knew it was a matter of time.

“Already on it, I’ve sent the word out to meet us here. We got some new shipments and you might like some of them,” Steve said, helping Tony down the precarious ledge they sat upon.

“Fine, fine, but we need to find some eyewitnesses and I bet I know just who to ask,” Tony said, hopping down and bouncing towards the strawberry cart.

-

“So, has anyone seen Peter in the past day?” Steve asked, standing as tall and proud as an apple tree.

The strawberries in the fruit stall all shuffled around until a double strawberry and a sassy looking berry stood before them.

“What do you need, old-timers?” Asked the sassy strawberry, her wavy patch of leaves and stem flicking agitatedly. The large berry next to her groaned and interjected. “Please don’t listen to MJ. I’m worried about Pete, he almost always comes back at the end of the night and he _at least_ leaves us a sign.”

“Ned, do we really need their help?” Asked the less helpful berry, her body turned away from the older fruits, clearly dismissing them.

“Are you kidding me? They’re legends! Mr Stark saved Pete once!”

“Listen kid, all we need is some intel, any idea where that psychotic pepper took Pete?” Tony asked with all the grace of a rolling watermelon.

“I think I heard Deadpool say he was going to show Pete something cool and last we saw they were headed that-a-ways,” Ned pointed his large body towards the canned fruit aisle.

“Thanks, we’ll start looking there. You kids stay here and try to avoid any shoppers!” Steve said, looking sternly at the berries in front of him.

MJ rolled her eyes, but she stayed in the cart with Ned as Tony and Steve hopped away.

-

“These were the fruit I was talking about,” Steve announced, his leaf waving in excitement. They were back at the flower stall and a whole team of fruit had joined them.

“There’s Buck, but you know him.” The plum dipped his body in greeting. “I’m with you ‘til the end of the vine.”

“And this is Clint and Natasha,” Steve pointed his stem at a lemon and lime duo.

“You can call me Hawkeye, there isn’t a thing in this store that I won’t see happening,” the lemon bragged. The lime rolled her eyes. “Or you can call him Clint, he fancies himself some sort of sniper. He keeps trying to climb onto the shelves. I’m his long-suffering babysitter, you can call me Nat.”

“That’s Thor and Bruce,” Steve continued, introducing a pineapple and durian. Before they could speak, Tony piped up, addressing the durian, “Oh, I know you! I’m a big fan of how you scare away all the shoppers with your smell. How did you get the moniker Hulk by the way?”

Bruce winced, the spikes on his body drooping, “I was hoping people would forget that name. It was a misunderstanding, I swear.” He looked down, shamefaced, and Tony cursed his smart mouth. Rhodey always told him he had as much tact as an unripe mango.

“Don’t be ashamed my friend,” the large pineapple said. “It was a glorious event, I remember well. You bowled down a whole display of cheese wheels, the staff were chasing them down every aisle. If I recall, one called you a hulking menace, but it was great fun for the rest of us.”. He nudged his spikes against the durian’s.

He stood tall as the fans in the store rustled through his leaves and the sun that shone through the glass doors lit him him up like a fruit demigod. “I am Thor the mighty fruit, you may have heard of me.” Thor declared.

“Can’t say I have, but we appreciate the help,” Tony drawled, giving Thor an admiring onceover. Steve shot him a disapproving look. “What? You’re the apple of my eye babe, but even you have to admit he’s something else. Pineapple? More like a _fineapple_.” Tony’s stem shook as he laughed at his own joke.

“As I was saying, we have a good team assembled here and I think we can check all the aisles and carts for our wayward berry,” Steve continued, pointedly ignoring the green humour of his childish partner.

“Nat and Clint, you both know how to get up high, can you find a nice vantage point and report back if you see anything? Thor and Bruce, you’re big enough to brave the floors, check to see if you can find them in any carts. Buck, Rhodey said he’s meeting up with a kiwi named Sam who swears he saw them by the east entrance, can you join them?” Steve directed. The assembled fruit dipped their bodies in agreement and scattered like seeds in the wind.

“And I suppose you and I are going to the canned aisle,” Tony said, dread sinking into his pit. No one liked the canned fruit aisle. It was a morbid reminder to every fruit and vegetable that there were worse fates than being eaten.

“We have to Tony, I don’t know what Wade was thinking, bringing Pete there, but it’s our best bet,” Steve said, rubbing his smooth skin against Tony’s lightly fuzzed one in comfort.

-

“You should have gone on without me,” Tony said, wincing as each bounce they took caused more juice to trickle from his bruised side. “I’m decomposing in front of you.”

“Please don’t talk like that. I’d sooner rip out my own core than leave you behind,” Steve said. They’d finally made it to the canned fruit aisle, but Tony was noticeably flagging, his supple body shaking and his usually peachy tone taking on an almost grey tinge.

“We’re here sweetheart, why don’t you rest against this shelf?” Steve said, nudging his partner against a row of canned peas.

“Ugh, I can’t. This is horrible. I’m going to find a way to kill Wade after we find them,” Tony muttered. He glanced around the aisle, his fuzz coiling up as he saw glass jars full of dead fruit. The row stretched out endlessly before them, every shelf crammed full of their dead brethren, their lifeless faces bobbing ominously in their own juices. Tony felt sick to his pit, his skin almost shrivelling at the sight.

The entire space before them was empty, nary a human or fruit in sight. “This doesn’t feel right,” Steve said, his whole demeanour deflating like an over ripe apple.

“You fell for my trap!” A voice called from above them. Both Steve and Tony looked up to see an orange hanging precariously from a high up shelf full of jarred peaches.

“Killian, I should have known. Where are Pete and Deadpool?” Tony demanded, his anger giving him renewed energy. He hardly felt the pain of the wound in his side, certain he could take on the brash orange.

“That would be too easy, Stark. I’m going to show you why I am the superior orange fruit!” Killian yelled. Tony and Steve watched in horror as the agile orange clamoured up a few more shelves and headed away from them.

“Is he crazy? He’s going to fall!” Tony said, but allowed Steve to help him stagger towards the mouth of the aisle. They watched as the deranged orange bounced across aisles, his skin almost glowing with a strange energy. The Mandarin finally ducked into a row, far back from where Tony and Steve usually patrolled and they hastily pursued his bright trail.

They finally cornered Killian in the household cleaning supplies aisle and found the orange perched on a shelf above them.

“Have you started to rot or is Deadpool’s crazy rubbing off you?” Tony asked, his tone as acidic as the fruit above him.

“Don’t mention that name in front of me. After he and his little berry friend attacked me, I was left critically wounded, forced to hide before the humans decided to discard me,” KIllian said. He was vibrating oddly, almost like a leaf rustling in the wind. Despite his claims of being wounded, he didn’t have a scratch on him. In fact, he was so obviously healthy, he almost glowed orange, like the lamps in the deli.

“Killian, we don’t have any quarrel with you, we just wanted to know if you’ve seen Deadpool and Peter,” Steve asked. His tone was placid as pool of water, clearly trying not to set off the other fruit.

Laughter pealed out of Killian’s mouth. “You don’t have a quarrel with me? After what your little minions did to me? I was forced to hide; I almost died! But I’m strong, much stronger than either of you and I found a solution to my ailes right here,” He rolled his body, indicating the row of bottles behind them. Each held a viciously vibrant orange liquid, rivalling the Mandarin’s own skin in brightness. Tony could now see a thin trail of the same liquid leaking from an open portion of Killian’s peel.

“What did you do, you overripe idiot?” Tony asked, feeling queasy like he was falling from a tree.

“I did what I had to do to survive. I call it Extremis. With this, I’ll outlive you, I’ll outlive your superfruit partner, I’ll even outlive that zombie pepper!” Killian shouted, he swayed dangerously as he leaned his quivering body against one of the bottles behind him.

Tony and Steve exchanged horrified looks. The orange was obviously a few grapes short of a bunch.

“That’s… real good to hear Killian, we’ll leave you to that if you could just give us some information,” Tony said, trying to adopt a nonchalant tone and missing by the length of a banana. The fuzz on his body stood on end as he watched more orange fluid ooze out of Killian’s peel.

“I don’t care about those pesky brats, I have bigger things on my mind. I’m going to revolutionize the fruit in this store. No longer will we beholden to humans, with this, we’ll be invincible.” He tapped one of the bottles with his unsteady body and it teetered dangerously against the lip of the shelf.

Tony watched in dawning horror as Killian tried to stabilize the bottle, but his vibrating body only made the bottle teeter closer to the edge. The heavy bottle toppled over, bringing the orange down with it. Tony watched the bottles descent in fear, frozen like a package of peas, as it headed straight for him.

“Look out!” He heard from his side and suddenly something slammed into his tender body. He moaned in pain as he went tumbling, everything spun around him until he came to a harsh stop. His whole body ached, right down to his pit, and he found himself slipping into unconsciousness.

-

“Well that was a bust!” Bucky complained, wiping his waxy skin off on the leaves of a potted fern.

“I’m sorry man, I thought for sure they were down that way,” Sam said, shaking his own fuzzy body until specks of juice flew off of him. “Who knew that the cherries would be trying a cherry bomb into the juice spill in aisle three? Cherries, they’re worse than lemmings!”

“At last you two got away before the next jar dropped, I’m covered in juice!” Rhodey rolled up to them, leaving a trail of red juice behind him like a morbid snail trail.

“No sign of the kid and we’re covered in juice; Tony will never let me live this down.”

“Have heart friend, you did an excellent job dodging the wheels and feet. I am sure there wasn’t a cart that we didn’t examine,” a voice boomed from behind the the weary, juice covered trio.

Thor and Bruce rolled up to the flower stall. The durian looked exhausted and was emitting a smell strong enough to make even the flowers around them wilt. Thor didn’t seem to notice as he brushed his spikey head against Bruce.

“Let’s just not go out there again, I was this close to ‘hulking’ out and knocking down that display of crackers.” Bruce slumped his oblong body against the side of the flower stall and the rest of the fruit unsubtly leaned away from his pungent scent.

“How did you fair, comrades?” Thor asked, turning to the trio.

“Didn’t find even a stray seed from either of them. Deadpool isn’t a quiet fruit, if he’s around, we’d know,” Bucky muttered, burying his face into a the head of a rose to escape Bruce’s smell.

“Oh, hi, I’m Sam! I don’t think we’ve met.” Sam introduced himself to the large duo, as cool as a cucumber in the face of their mass.

“Oh, isn’t this as fun as watching a banana ripen,” drawled an acerbic voice and two green and yellow shapes popped up from high above in the flower stall. “But unlike you guys, Clint and I were successful in our mission. We found the little troublemakers. Come up here.”

At the top of the flower stall, nestled into in the dirt in a pot of petunias were Wade and Peter, dormant as a perennial in hibernation. The strawberry was partially covered by the scarred fruit and even his disconcerting facade seemed more tender and innocent in sleep.

“Well isn’t this as cute as the first flower in spring?” Bucky said sarcastically. He bounced down into pot, directly onto of the slumbering pair, making sure he directed all his weight onto Wade.

“Holy mother Earth, what the fuck?” Deadpool shouted as Bucky’s weight knocked him into consciousness. His spasming body pulled Peter out of his own peaceful slumber and he tried to bounce up, only succeeding in knocking Wade into Bucky until the three of them were more twisted together than vines in a pumpkin patch.

“Get off me! I swear to god I will find a way to end you if you get any of juice on me,” Bucky yelled as he rolled away blindly. Sam tried to catch him before he hit the edge of the flower pot but was bowled away along with the distraught plum. In the aftermath, Wade stood protectively over a wildly flailing strawberry and Bucky and Sam lay groaning against the clay walls of the pot.

“Mr Stark? Are you here? We have to tell you something!” Peter shouted, running around until Wade’s body halted him in his track.

“Whoa there berry-mine, you got more energy than a java bean. But that’s how I like ya, feisty enough to keep up with my stamina.” Wade winked, wrapping his body around the agitated strawberry.

“Wade, we talked about this, nothing too vulgar in front of others,” Peter said, his already rosy skin somehow flushing a deeper shade of red.

“Oh, right, the ‘has beens’ are also more prudish than a prune,” Deadpool sighed. A manic grin stretched across his scarred face and he turned to face the assembled fruit.  “You know what they say, mi casa es su casa.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re crashing at Steve and Tony’s but that is besides the point,” Rhodey said, looking as disgruntled as an bruised peach. “Why the hell are you two here? We’ve been looking all over for you two!”

“Don’t tie your stem into a knot big guy, we were here the whole night. We were just a little tired from kicking some serious orange pulp!”

“Sir - excuse me - we’re sorry to have worried you but we were only looking for Mr Stark and Mr Rogers and I guess we got tired and fell asleep here,” Peter said sheepishly, trying in vain to wiggle out of Wade’s stranglehold. “We ran into Killian while we were exploring the store - I swear we weren’t looking for him - but we saw him and he was saying some really wild thing. He sounded crazier than a bag of peanuts! We wanted to tell Mr Stark about it and then we sort of got side tracked.”

Bucky hopped over to them, having untangled himself from Sam’s fuzzy body. “Well, if you two are here, where the hell are Stevie and Stark?”

As if on cue, a loud crash resounded through the store. Every fruit in the flower stall whipped their body towards the noise. After a pause, they all began scrambling towards the floor, Rhodey and Bucky rolling recklessly ahead.

-

Awareness came in flashes for Tony but the feeling of _burning_ _pain_ coursed through his body. He felt like he was peeling out of his skin, as if every drop of juice in his body had turned into molten lava. He would have screamed but bitter liquid filled his mouth, choking his weak cries. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, could only lay there gasping, as the agony ravaged through his prone body.

“-not me- help-”

“Killian - is he dead?”

He caught snatches of conversation and with tremendous effort he opened his heavy eyes.

“-’teve?” He tried to mutter, everything was hazy, as if he had fallen into a bucket of water and he was observing things from its murky depths.

“Tony, oh God, don’t speak, we’re getting you out of here.” Tony heard Steve’s voice and he made out the faint outline of a large red body hovering over him, but he couldn’t discern any features, his vision blurry and his entire body ringing like a struck bell with pain.

“-’kay, I’m gonna pass out now,” he slurred, allowing his heavy eyes to close. He let blissful unconsciousness carry him away from the hellish heat that threatened to burn him from the inside out.

-

The next time Tony awoke, he was clear headed and felt better than he had in ages. He wiggled his body experimentally and was surprised to feel only cool air and moist dirt beneath him. The restrictive mesh that he deprecatingly referred to as his coffin was completely gone and instead of feeling like we was going to sag out of his skin, he felt… strong, supple, like a freshly plucked fruit.

“Steve?” He glanced around, surprised to find himself in the usual pot of ferns that Steve and he called their bed. He narrowed his eyes and found that even his eyesight was improved. He joked that Steve’s advanced genetics gave him night vision but right now he could make out almost every detail around him, even in the dim light. He realised that some time had passed since Steve and he had confronted Killian.

“Sugar beet, are you here?” Tony asked, he rolled himself upright and grimaced as he felt dirt sticking to his skin, matting down his fuzz. He glanced down at his body and almost fell over backwards in shock. Gone were the bruises that had started to turn black with decay, instead, his skin fairly glowed with health. His skin was a perfect shade of pink-orange and he looked better than when he had first arrived at the store. He wiggled his stem and twisted this way and that, but nothing hurt. In fact, he felt rejuvenated, fresh as the first breath of spring.

He mentally shelved his curiosity at his better-than-new body and turned his attention to finding his erstwhile partner.

“Steve, where are you?” He shouted as he hopped out of the pot. He headed towards the blushing pink hues of the orchids, their usual date spot. Steve was not there. He hopped down a row towards the roses, a place he adored but Steve hated (“You don’t like their colour better than me, do you?”) but all he saw were the slightly wilting heads of unpicked bouquets.

“This isn’t funny, Steve. Don’t be a rotten tomato! Come out now before I call our friends for a new search party!”

He wavered between staying in the flower stall and finding Bucky. As much as he hated to admit it, the other stone fruit knew Steve almost as well as Tony. He glanced around his surroundings, shivering as the overhead fans stirred the stale air and cooled the water on his wet skin, and then narrowed his eyes as he caught sight of a sliver of red. _There_!

He made his way towards the fresh bouquet of white lilies, baffled but sure that Steve was there. Steve hated white lilies, some remnant of a forgotten memory from his days as a green bud. Tony bounced towards the buckets and perched himself at the lip of the nearest one. Sure enough, he found Steve bobbing like a bad Halloween decoration.

“Steve, what the fuck are you doing?” Tony demanded. He tried not to sneeze as the cloying scent of the lilies invaded his newly sensitive senses but failed; his sneeze toppled him into the water beside Steve.

“Tony? You’re awake?” Steve asked, turning his floating body to look at the very unamused peach. Tony’s expression was more sour than an unripe kiwi as he spat out water.

“Yes, I’m awake and was very worried about my sweet-as-papaya love,” Tony retorted, secretly luxuriating at the feel of the tepid water in the lily bucket. While he didn’t feel the same horrible, burning, all consuming agony he had felt before, there was a certain…heat that he couldn’t shake from his pit.

“I’m sorry Tony, but you shouldn’t be here. I-I’m compromised,” Steve said. He was vibrating a little, the water around him rippling with the minute shivers he let out periodically.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not leaving you here. You obviously got me back to the stall before I was swept away like yesterday’s garbage so indulge me and let me worry about you.”

Steve groaned, but he bobbed himself closer to Tony until their sides touched. Tony’s whole body lit up like a christmas display. Every molecule felt perfectly attuned to Steve and the mild heat that the water that suppressed exploded into into a bright, pulsating burning that Tony couldn’t ignore. He gasped but before he could do anything, the heat subsided.

“What the fuck is happening?”

“I don’t know Tony. Killian is dead, he fell and spilled his pulp, but we got doused with that Extremis bottle and that can’t be a good thing.”

Steve didn’t detach himself from Tony’s side, something that Tony for grateful for; he had an irrational feeling that he’d turn nuttier than an almond if Steve left his side.

“Why are you drowning yourself in the last place I thought I would find you?” Tony asked. He nudged his clean skin against Steve’s, enjoying the drag of his fuzz against the smooth peel Steve sported. Steve looked even more robust than usual, he had obviously escaped the encounter unscathed.

“You don’t feel… anything new?” Steve whispered. His strong body trembled and Tony felt concern bloom in him like a flower.

“I feel great! Just a little bit warm, but better than I have in ages. I- I think I’m _healed_ ,” Tony said. He shivered at every brush of his peel against Steve’s, as the warmth inside of him begin to mount again.

Steve rolled away from Tony, disconnecting there bodies. Tony frowned, it wasn’t like Steve to mope like an unripe avocado.

“Did we find Pete and his undead boyfriend?” Tony continued with his questions. The heat building inside of him grew in intensity, but instead of pain he felt like a fruit left out to ripen in blazing sunlight. He felt _hot_ but desperate for the feel of Steve’s skin against his own.

“Yes, we found them. But after everyone left, I started feeling… _strange_ ,” Steve muttered.

Tony tried to ignore the burning in his body, trying to concentrate on Steve’s words, but he felt hornier than a kiwano melon, a need for touch and connection driving him forward. He pinned Steve against the stalks of the lilies, trying and failing to ignore the shivers of pleasure that raced through his newly healed body.

“Explain.”

“Oh gosh Tony, I don’t know if I can! It’s all hazy for me. Bucky and Rhodey and the rest of the team got us out of the aisle but like I said, we were covered in that orange stuff,” Steve whispered, he didn’t push Tony away and seemed to relish their points of contact as much as Tony did.

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re here,” Tony pointed out.

“I needed to cool down.” Steve’s reply was succinct as he wiggled against Tony. Tony felt a curious trickle of warmth leaking from his cleft. He couldn’t glance back and check, but there was a definite trickle. It didn’t hurt like the juice he had been bleeding in his protective mesh but he still felt terrified.

“What the hell?” Tony said. “What’s going on with my body? Steve, why do we feel so _warm_?”

“I don’t know Tony! I’m as confused as you. My core feels like it’s burst into flame and the water helped. But now that we’re touching, I just feel _hotter._ ” Steve’s voice grew weaker and more unsteady, until he was practically mouthing the last few lines.

“I- god damn it it- I can’t think in here. I don’t know why you wanted to punish yourself with the smell of lilies when there are other flower buckets, but we have to get out of here.” Tony climbed up the dripping stems, looking down at Steve, demanding he join Tony with a severe look.

They were both out of breath when they finally made their way out of the bucket of lilies. Tony could feel a steady drip of juice trickling from his seam but still no pain. Instead he felt a growing frustration and a pervasive need to rub his dripping skin against Steve’s.

“Steve why didn’t you wake me up before you left?” Tony asked, shaking his body hard to discard the excess water. His body felt ten degrees hotter out of the soothing coolness of the water in the lily bucket. He began to vibrate, feeling like he’d been doused by one of Deadpool’s infamous pepper sprays.

“I just needed to cool down and you needed the rest. I was hoping you would be spared this madness, but I guess… we’re in this together,” Steve said, his tone was as dry as unbuttered bread, but his body shook as hard as Tony’s.

“Wallowing in dirty water won’t help anything. Maybe we should try to get some rest. I’ll look into this in the morning,” Tony reasoned. He nudged Steve’s body until they could hop to their usual bed within the safety of the fern leaves.

“Ugh, who got fruit juice on this?” Tony complained, accidentally brushing  his body against a leaf full of red, sticky juice. As he settled into the bed of dirt that he and Steve called home, he felt a giant wave of exhaustion crash into him. The burning feeling grew muted, like an ember waiting to be stoked.

“We’ll fix this tomorrow, I’ve never been so tired in my life,” he murmured, already feeling his eyes drooping. He heard a quiet sigh and then felt Steve nuzzle up to him; he felt another spike of heat burn through him but it was distant and he let himself drift off.

-

“Tony- I’m so sorry, I can’t stop.”

Tony jerked awake at the thready and desperate voice of his lover.  He was immediately aware that he was absolutely drenched in a sticky fluid, the dirt around him clinging to his usually clean skin. He also was on fire. He was sure of it, because nothing else would explain the raging heat that burned through him, lighting every molecule in his body until all he felt was heat and sensation.

He could feel Steve frantically rubbing against him, smearing around the wetness that seemed to be leaking from his seam. The glide of Steve’s smooth, almost waxy skin against his own fuzz felt devine, pleasure sparking through him whenever Steve moved.

“Wha- what the hell is happening? Am I leaking still? Are you?” Tony demanded, but he found himself rubbing back against Steve, unable to stop himself. The friction between their bodies felt like another fire, but the thought of parting was unbearable.

“I don’t know, I just woke up and felt like I was burning alive, the only thing that helps is if I touch you. It feels _so_ _good_ , Tony,” Steve whimpered as he tried to squeeze closer to Tony. One particularly hard shove rolled Tony onto his side, exposing his leaking cleft and he heard Steve groan as the apple eagerly rutted onto Tony’s willing body.

Tony was panting now, his quivering body pushing up to meet Steve’s forceful thrusts. The burning sensation felt more concentrated now and he swore he could feel himself… _open_ at his seam. It didn’t feel like an injury, rather it felt like his body was desperate for a deeper connection with Steve.

“I feel it too, big red, this must be some sort of side effect of the cleaning agent. Are you poking your stem into me?” Tony exclaimed, as he felt something blunt and hard rub against his cleft. That warm, open feeling increased and he swore he could feel a part of Steve slip _inside_ him.

“Oh God, Tony I think I grew something.”

Both fruit froze as much as they could, horrified by the changes in their bodies, but they couldn’t seem to control the urges that ravaged through them and soon they were thrusting against each other. Steve had grown something, and it felt wonderful and hard inside of Tony. Tony’s body had parted painlessly, leaking copious amount of sweet smelling juice that eased Steve’s entry.

“What is happening to us? I think you’re inside me, but it feels amazing. Do that again!” Tony demanded when Steve wiggled his body in a certain way. Inescapable pleasure surged through Tony as the extra appendage on Steve rubbed inside of him harder. Their vibrating bodies only served to notch his ecstasy higher, until all he could feel was incredible warmth and pit deep pleasure.

“I can’t stop myself, I’m sorry if I’m hurting you,” Steve panted against Tony’s wet body. He was pressing Tony hard into the soft dirt beneath them. They were both groaning and moaning, louder than gossipy clementines. Tony distantly hoped nobody would stop by for a late night visit.

The _thing_ inside Tony throbbed and he felt a cool wetness gush into him. The coolness felt heavenly against his meltingly hot insides and Tony clenched his cleft, desperate for more of that soothing liquid.

“D-don’t tighten up like that.”

“I can’t help it, whatever is in me makes the heat feel better,” Tony admitted. He squeezed again, shameless and beyond embarrassment, using every asset he had to rile Steve’s body up further. The appendage throbbed again, leaking almost as much as Tony now.

In retaliation, Steve sped up his thrusts, plastering their bodies together. They didn’t bother with words, each chasing a need they couldn’t verbalise. Tony let the pleasure wash over him, squeezing and rubbing whenever Steve thrust into him. He wiggled, spreading his juice sloppily between them, too gone to care about the mess.

Steve’s body jerked hard and he swelled inside of Tony, plugging the small crevice in Tony’s cleft and then released what felt like gallons of liquid inside of Tony. Tony’s body spasmed in response and his small hole clutched greedily onto Steve, pulsating and leaking more and more juice until it splattered onto the dirt below them.

They both stilled, their bodies sliding apart as Steve toppled to the side, he slipped out of Tony and they both heard a small ‘pop’. Watery liquid gushed out of Tony’s seam and he groaned, not in pain but in embarrassment. The blinding heat and arousal had left him and all he felt now was wet and mortified.

“Did you grow a dick?” Were the first words out of his mouth as he rolled to face Steve. Steve was staring down at his body and Tony could finally what had been inside of him. There was small protrusion at Steve’s base, as red and glossy as him. They both watched in fascinated horror as it slowly retracted, and then disappeared into Steve’s body. All that was left was smooth, unblemished peel.

“Oh my God, I’m going crazy as Deadpool! You grew a…an apple dick and you fucked me! Like a human! Fruit are not meant to connect like that!” Tony wailed, he twisted his own body, trying to see if it too had reverted back to normal. He couldn’t feel any new wetness leaking out of him and the curious open feeling was gone.

“I don’t know what happened Tony, I swear. It’s that Extremis stuff. No wonder KIllian was so crazy. I felt like I was going insane and the only thing that helped was…well...you.”

“The feeling is mutual. Whatever you were secreting helped cool me down. But we’re getting to the bottom of this,” Tony said. He looked down at his dirt and juice covered body. “After we take a bath.”

-

The answer turned out to be that there wasn’t an answer. With the help of their friends, they had acquired an empty bottle of the Extremis solution but it was just a normal cleaning agent. Nothing about it should have caused the changes it did. But there was no denying that Tony was healed, as robust as the day he first arrived at the store. Steve didn’t seem to experience any changes, apart from the obvious.

They found out that they were struck with the intense need to _connect_ once a day, late into the evening. Tony tried to find a remedy but had thus far been unsuccessful. They had carefully hidden that particular development from their friends, unsure how and unwilling to broach that topic.

“I don’t know what happened, I’m just healed!” Tony told Rhodey when the melon came to check on him.

Steve had his own conversations with Bucky, relying hard on his all American apple appeal, adopting the classic ‘aw shucks’ demeanour that Bucky never fell for. But no one challenged their story, too relieved that they were both unharmed.

Tony and Steve settled into their new normal, still living in their flower stall, but now unconcerned that they would be separated by Tony’s premature decay. They acted like passion fruit in love, constantly touching and wooing each other with words and actions.

“This is worse than when you first got together,” Bucky complained when he visited and found them slow dancing.

They couldn’t help it, both grateful at their second chance at life. While the side effects were _interesting_ , they were starting to come around on them as well.

-

“Steve, yes, fuck me with that apple dick!” Tony moaned.

“T-Tony, don’t say stuff like that,” Steve huffed, but he obliged, thrusting harder into Tony. Neither noticed the small shape peering over the rim of their flower pot.

“Mr Stark, Mr Stark, I have some news- OH MY GOD!”

Steve and Tony looked up to see Peter and Deadpool above them. The strawberry had a look of abject horror on his face but the pepper was grinning maniacally.

“Well, well, well, what have we here?”

Steve and Tony groaned in almost perfect unison, it looked like their hard earned peace was over.

  



End file.
